DREAM. Sun morn 9/20/09. “Vivid Horse” Hopes
In the basement of our house (though it feels like it’s my
house, it is different in appearance than the one I live in now) I am cleaning and maybe
exploring in the basement; mostly noticing the mess and condition of the place.
I find a horse under some cabinets/shelves (maybe against the back of the wall,
though it is like I can reach the horse from the outside as well as from the inside).
At first glance I think the horse is a toy, maybe metal, since it is static and
lying on its side. But it is also detailed, intricate.
Upon taking hold of the
horse I am aware that it is not hard surfaced, rather it has softness, like
flesh. I wonder: Can it be real? Is it dead?
No, not dead, there is slight
breath movement. I rub it to see if that might bring more life to it. Not much
difference.
I have thoughts of did I neglect to feed this horse? Did I know
about it and forget? How did this happen, that this tiny horse is so lifeless,
neglected, left to die?
I determine that I need help reviving this little horse (now
that I know it isn’t a toy, though the size of the horse is ridiculously small,
about a foot and a half long), so I go to a nearby house where a vet/animal
doctor (Marsha Bisell) lives.
I am hoping that she has food or a fix (meds?) to
help bring this horse (my horse?) to fuller life. When I get there she (and
Tom, her husband) were either getting ready to go out or just getting back from
some glamorous/dress up affair. She is willing to help me – and goes looking
for something to “help.” (I am unaware of what that might be, and am left
standing with the little horse in an entryway, feeling like I am putting them
out, but grateful for the hope of help.)
I have vague recall that there are two other horses under the
cabinet, still, maybe a bit larger. And that the perimeter of the property has
a rotting fence with living vines. That the vines were on the rotting fence but
still living was a pleasant surprise to me.
**(I'm backing up slightly in chrono time here: this
dream follows the Saturday of the Christos 1st year class retreat of which I'm one of the 'teachers' (or more accurately a distance learner group facilitator). At
end of day we were asked to summarize our hope for the days ahead, specifically
around the two-year training time – I said that I wanted greater spiritual
sight. In the Scripture passage from John shared with the group, Jesus’s words that glimmered for me
were “Come and see.”)
I have a sense that the horse has to do with my desire for
deeper spiritual sight – maybe the horse represents my spirit?
Or my spirit’s
connection with the Holy Spirit?
The dream may point to a more non-mechanical
(non-cognitive) way to get from here to there.
[Possibly the train in the first
part of the dream (not recorded in the accounting above) indicates a means I’ve
operated out of – keep chugging along whether there’s water to slog or messes
to plow through.]
Horses have been out-of-reach for me (I lived in town, with no
resources/money to buy or care for them and no history with horses) and thus
out-of-sight, out-of-mind.
But more lately (conversation with Ingrid Henry about
horse sense of human emotions, and petting my sister Cindy’s horses; Cindy just mentioned
their whinny when she greets them) I have an increased awareness of the
sensitivity of horse.
I wonder if "horse," being animal, represents to me the
instinctual – certainly they operate more from an instinct mode than cognitive
mode; such as, they can find their way home in a snowstorm.
They are beautiful
creatures and can ‘fly’ like the wind, they are sleek.
Could it be that I am to identify more with my
instinctual and less effort-ful spiritual side of being? That God has put in me a
desire to wake up that long-time sleeping spiritual self – which is a significantly
unfed, neglected part of me?
DREAM. March
11, 2010. “Winged canopy”
At first I think it is an exotic
bird with ridiculously long tail feathers. It flies closer into a tree within
my view from inside the structure.
I am in a lower level room – don’t recall
noticing any window, but know that I am able to see outside – getting
instructions for the caretaking of the building and feeling some weight of
responsibility.
I watch as the colorful flying creature lands on a branch
and then wraps its feathery wings around the entirety of the tree's branches –
like a gentle umbrella covering, beautifully colorful and symmetrical. Astonishing
and intriguing.
Then the head of the creature emerges from the feathery wrap –
it is a horse head – it is a flying horse!
The head is suddenly big with snout
“in my face” (like right there at the window) with large reddish purple nose. I
am fascinated. It causes me to not pay attention to the instructions being
given me for the building care.
I LOVE this dream: it includes indescribable beauty and
surprise.
It gives me hope.
Covered by a canopy of color and intrigue,
investigated by a flying horse.
I don’t try hard to discern all its meanings, rather I let the fascination of it wash over me.
“Beauty takes us…
beyond the visible to the height of
consciousness,
past the ordinary to the mystical,
away from the expedient
to the endlessly true.”
-
Joan
Cittister, Monastic Wisdom for Seekers of Life
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